That's such an intensely personal decision that is affected by so many things that strangers can't possible know about that I don't know if anyone could usefully respond to your broad question.

I would question whether the problem is that you don't want to be in the field at all, or that you are fed up with specific positions/companies that are a poor fit for you. You only have 4 jobs in your history, and having 3 of them suck can be pretty gloomy.

So maybe consider doing contract-to-hire, where you're working 6 month (or so) contracts. That lets you sample the work environment at different companies and when you find one that works well for you, you'd have the option to stay as a permanent employee.

You don't say what kind of software and for whom. One thing I suggest, if you haven't done it, is working on software, but for companies that don't ship software or software services. Stay away from the big tech companies, look for something small and somewhat local. You don't want to be the FAANG "cattle, not pets"

One of the most enjoyable jobs I had was working for a small company that made [digital] audio equipment (before that was possible on a PC) - we had sound systems in every office and a small recording studio in the basement. Most of the engineers were also musicians. We had software people, analog people, and music and radio production people.

I don't know, it seems like you have many opportunities.

Try comedy! Making good, funny content is hard. I think if you try hard, you can do it, eventually. The world needs it right now.

That's just a random suggestion. As others said, without a clear background on your intentions, it's impossible to know what to suggest.

Tax Accountant would be my second choice career. If I had been born at an earlier decade, it's where I would have landed.

I bet you could find a better cultural fit and be a lot happier while still doing what you love. There are vastly different cultures across different companies, particularly in startups and mid-size.

I took a break from city life and regular work for a year while I lived and traveled in an RV doing contract work. It was fun for a while, but I missed having a challenge and feeling like I had a stake in what I’m working on. I now work remotely in a town that has nothing to do with tech, and my friends here work largely in tourism and real estate. They all get treated like shit compared to software engineers. It made me thankful for my place in life. I’m likely moving back to the SF Bay Area after my lease ends here.

Do you want to work for others in software field or Do you hate it even for your own project / hobby projects?

I could write down my experiences many peoples will cry so hard under my comment so better I will leave a quote.

"Whatever you do, Knew it before start"

Read the book - what color is your parachute.

It will help you figure out the type of career that will work for you.

In particular, knowing the ‘language’ that you speak… will help you find the right career path.

A language being… do you enjoy working with numbers, with people, outdoors… etc…

Firstly I would recommend therapy and resilience training. Throwing out the word “abused” at 3 of 4 jobs raises my eyebrow a bit. I’m not saying you weren’t, but statistically speaking there might also be something going on with you that will make many jobs hateful. Addressing that now will make whatever choice you make more likely to be successful. As for other places, I’d 100% recommend moving to Northern Europe. They simply treat people better there. You might find that doing software at a big boring European company wildly different from tech In manhattan. If you start applying now the job could be your pathway to residency.

If I were looking for a trade I’d probably apprentice as a plumber or electrician. But that work can be stressful and demanding too so start by working on yourself so you practice dealing with stress better.

When I was in a situation like that I used Po Bronson's "What Should I do with My Life" and the Strengths Finder survey. It helped confirm something that I was already planning.

I also came back to software later.

If you don't mind sharing, can you talk about the kind of abuse you faced?

1. Go back to school and become an engineer, an actual engineer with a license.

2. If you are young and healthy military is still an option.

3. Pick up a trade where you use your hands, like plumbing or construction.

4. Go back to school and become a lawyer.

5. Go work at a charity, such as a homeless shelter.

The first thing is to know what you like and what you would rather do. I was in the same boat as you about 2 years ago. I was a JavaScript developer who loved writing applications in JavaScript. The problem is that almost nobody else in the workforce could write applications in JavaScript, so it was miserable with a bunch of insecure pretenders.

I personally am drawn to the trades, but something like building high quality furniture in a small shop has a huge appeal.

If you want to take advantage of your software experience without being consumed by it, you might move sideways into technical communications. If you do, make sure your interviewer(s) know that you do know software, and deeply, as a practitioner; it is not true of all TC people.

This doesn't help you, at least not at the moment, but: When you get a job you love, where they treat you well, where management is sane and the people are decent, think hard before you leave that job, even if it doesn't pay the best. It's not easy to find that. When you have it, don't be in a hurry to leave.

> I have been abused too many times.

I've been in software for around two decades, many employers, and never have been abused. Can you specify what the abuse was about?

I don't think being abused has anything to do with being in software. Just my experience and opinion though.

I think you will both find and wont find you are abused in most lines of work.

Seems like a lot more work to change industries (with probably a similar risk of being abused) than to just find a software position where you aren't being abused IMO.

Try travelling for a bit? See the world and see how you feel, maybe take a sabbatical

I became a data analyst. A bit more numbers, a bit more presenting and less coding :)

I think maybe you are misinterpreting the data.

Is the abuse you experienced a function of software development? Or perhaps some companies are shitty and some are not. Or perhaps it is NY (big city) that is the root cause.

Change is good, but you need to be sure you're changing the right thing.

Everyone has great ideas. My comment is go somewhere you will be appreciated. And you can also appreciate them back. Usually non profits are good choices.

Secondly, you are not just IT. You are IT+industry you worked in. You can do something else in the same industry. Something like business consulting.

Work hard when you want and build your domains. Don't stress about work, it's not worth stressing. Know your worth and bring that worth to the table when it's time to talk about raises etc.

I've thought the same thing. But software pays well, is fairly chill, and when you contribute to a big project you naturally build a position of value.

The fact that you got a new username for asking this question is awesome, you're already prepared for the next journey of life, congratulations on new career(undefined)

BTW, based on my observation it seems you're burned!(Not like spies), I'd say take a year of and stick to re-finding your passion (whatever big or small) it may be.

Based on your experience you could venture into some startup as a Angel Investor and Advisor for the moment, until then stay curious.

Hardware, obviously. ;-)

Though working in another country sounds like a great option if you can arrange it.

I do have some bad news though: all large companies treat their employees poorly in one way or another.

If you think people in the software industry are abusive, DO NOT go into the trades.

I'm from one of those Northern European countries, if you are able to get a job there, the quality of life will be much much better. Something like regular coffee breaks during working hours is not uncommon. Which is pretty much unheard of in the rest of the world.

All of the options have their own set of trade-offs of course.

Join a startup at series A doing something you think is cool.

Build a startup