Ask HN: Why do official-looking emails cause anxiety before I read them?

5•BianDan•1mo ago

This is something I’ve noticed about myself and I’m curious about the underlying mechanism.

Whenever I receive a letter or email that looks official — from a bank, government office, school, etc. — I feel a spike of anxiety almost immediately. What’s strange is that this happens before I even know what the message actually says.

In most cases, it turns out to be routine or harmless. Still, the anxious reaction comes first and sometimes lingers until I fully understand the content.

I’m not looking for personal advice, but I’m curious whether this response is tied to how humans process authority, uncertainty, or perceived consequences. Is there any psychological or cognitive explanation for why the anticipation alone triggers stress, even when experience says it’s usually nothing serious?

Comments

luplex•1mo ago

I think you're simply experiencing a power differential. You are at the mercy of the institution, and you're scared that the email will mean bad consequences for you.

BianDan•1mo ago

That framing resonates a lot. It really does feel less about the content and more about the imbalance — someone else has information or authority over you, and you don’t yet know what it means for you.I hadn’t thought of it explicitly as a power differential before, but that explains why the anxiety hits before any facts are known.

JohnFen•1mo ago

This was a common thing with snailmail back when it was the primary means of such communications. My sense is that it's because if an institution is contacting you in a way that isn't routine, the odds are pretty high that it isn't to give you good news.

reify•1mo ago

I experienced the same.

For me, its about not engaging in unnecessary stress. It carries a sense that someone is controlling your life.

I have had a new rule for the last 10 years.

I only open official mail amd emails on Mondays. I never open any postal mail or emails on Fridays.

I have learned that these official Friday emails and postal mail are intentional sent to create stress.

Imagine if you open an important letter on Friday afternoon about an unpaid bill, you cannot speak to anyone about it, you get no reply from an email, the business only works 9-5 mon-fri, so you are left with an entire weekends worth of stress.

Take control. On Monday I have time to consider and think about my options. stress free

p0d•1mo ago

I am in my 50s and have learned that learning how to deal with unknowns is often more important than knowing.

For example, I do know what triggers some of the negative thoughts that come into my head which used to cause me stress. I now have my own way to respond to these thoughts and they do not cause me stress. Through time the response becomes automatic.

I recommend picking a healthy response and letting this be the solution.

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