I'm trying to remember my own experiences. For server uses I've used Ubuntu as that's what was used at work. For personal/desktop I'd generally use Xubuntu--next I'd likely try Kubuntu. I did try using Debian proper for a while but I ran into differences in how packages were built occasionally and considered the Ubuntu one correct because it matched expectations--generally vetted by more eyeballs using and writing about it.

Maybe switching to flatpak installed packages would eliminate the differences. It still feels like Debian is the distros' distro (like a musician's musician) and not for the masses.