For others, here's the comment:

  This YouGov poll, sourced at the end, notes that 9% of the male population is interested in complete nonmonogamy. US Government Statistics note that males that make >$200k/year comprise approximately 5% of the population. A Pew Research poll states that 51% of young men desire children. Approximately 10% of the population is males ages 22-40, which is a wider age range than I think she would be interested in, but I'm trying to make the numbers as generous as possible. Using a normal distribution curve, approximately 25% of the population will have an attractiveness of >5.9. I selected a generous 10% of the remaining population as being interesting enough for her to engage with on an intellectual level.

  0.09 * 0.05 * 0.51 * 0.25 * 0.10 * 0.10

  0.00057%

  5.7 per million people

  There are 4.6 million people in the San Francisco metro area

The complaints in the article are mostly concentrated around the actual dates, not around rejections in the pre-date phase.

  I have a $100,000 bounty on my marriage. If you introduce me to someone who I end up marrying, I’ll pay you $100k upon marriage*.

  There’s some details here:

We don't only communicate with words. We also communicate with gestures, voice tones, dynamism of our voices, facial expressions etc. Once this all goes out of the window, it becomes much harder to actually understand other people.

I wonder if the Internet just gave our civilization a massive emotional tinnitus.

Overall, it feels like Aella, justifiably, wants to feel like she has passed a bunch of filters for a guy to consider her a high-qualified mate. This is both because she wants the ego boost of knowing she passed all those hurdles, and also because she's more likely to have relationship success with a guy who knows what he wants, has an established filter system, and decides she passes all of them.

The problem is, as you say, Aella is hot, intelligent, and driven as a partner. This means that basically a guy is going to find all of the boxes he's looking at for a first date checked. This is especially true if he's not an idiot and knows who Aella is and did even a casual Google about her first. This all kind of means that honestly, a first date is more about a guy auditioning for her to see if he's her type. Once he finds out that she's interested, that will be when he starts to get into the nitty gritty of "is this a woman who will work for me as a partner?"

Further bonus question, how do you even date someone with a strong online presence? Are you supposed to read their blog posts? Will they consider that creepy, or disrespectful of their time if you don't?

Let's do a technical interviewing analogy. It kinda feels like Aella is an experienced engineer who has written a well-known library. Basically the "interview" is an employer who already knows her qualifications trying to convince her to work for them. She feels offended that they aren't trying to see if she's a good fit for the position...but its immediately obvious she was at least a 90% fit and nobody needs to poke around for dealbreakers, any problems are the kind that are going to be teased out over time.