For lazy parents like myself: check out a Yoto player. It's web-connected, has limited internal storage, and the cards are just NFC cards -- but it is easy.
It's unfortunate that "always offline" needs to be added, as that would be the norm 15-20 years ago when portable media players were at the peak of their popularity. You can still buy SD/TF/microSD players at a very, very low price today.
The main culprit is that "custom ESP32-S3 board" - in this application, it is equivalent to a combination of a random off-the-shelf ESP32 board and a separate battery charger/protector. Half of the equipment on the list (hot air, hot plate, microscope, logic analyzer, etc...) is only needed for this board.
Weirdly enough, the rest of the device is a solid design, suitable for someone with "a few months" of electronic experience: lots of pre-made modules, and designing a carrier PCB for them. This means large and easy to solder 2.54mm hole spacing, regular soldering iron, no microscope, etc.. It's a really weird contrast for me....
OccamsMirror•2h ago