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What we get when male fitness standards clash with female preferences

https://nataliaantonova.substack.com/p/this-internet-poll-is-breaking-mens
26robarr2w ago

Comments

watwut2w ago
It was my long term observation - the buffed guys in movies and video games are for other men to look at and admire. They are in games and movies targeted at men. Movies targeted at women have different male physicality.

Gym is something men do to compete with other men and look good to other men. It has zero to do with what women like.

But when I wrote that in comments, invariably, men felt offended and angry.

viraptor2w ago
> Gym is something men do to compete with other men

That's a massive overgeneralisation. Gym is not just for looks. Based on local gym, it's not even the main purpose. There's lots of people using it for maintaining basic fitness.

I'm writing it here, because when I was growing up, many people genuinely had the idea that you start going to the gym to become a bodybuilder. In case anyone needs to hear it - no - feel free to go to just be more healthy.

watwut2w ago
People to want to maintain basic fitness wont prioritize muscle growth over everything. Even more importantly, they will do sports that are not "the gym" - cycling, soccer, running, basketball, climbing and what not.

Gym culture is heavily biased toward something else. And when you look at advice about training guys are getting and seeking, it is all about muscles growth. Nothing about being faster, healthier, have balanced performance ... no other goal is as discussed as muscle growth.

viraptor2w ago
Maybe that's regional or specific to some chains, but not universal. About half the people in my gym come in only for cardio machines. The PTs start with - "so what do you want to achieve?". As for sports you listed, soccer and basketball rely on available groups - it's not for everyone; climbing depends on available walls which only exist in larger towns and cities (1.5h to my closest one); running/cycling depends on various conditions, so many people do that... at the gym.
ZeroGravitas2w ago
I was looking into advice on lifting weights not that long ago and this was very noticeable to me.

The stuff you find online didn't even allow for the possibility that there were other goals even as they discussed the risk of life changing injuries from certain practices.

It was just "will this grow muscle size more and faster" when I was looking for some science backed answers on what was the minimum time/money/risk way to be healthy and active in the long term.

One person who stuck out for going against this was an expert in back jnjuries asking older weightlifters "Do you want to keep setting personal bests or do you want to be able to play on the floor with your grandchildren as you can't do both"

xenospn2w ago
If you’re commenting on hacker news, you definitely need to go to the gym on a regular basis. Has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with your physical and mental health.
znpy2w ago
> Gym is something men do to compete with other men and look good to other men. It has zero to do with what women like.

This is nonsense. Most men do gym because they want to look a certain way (leaner and in some cases more muscular). It's largely unrelated to what women want.

> But when I wrote that in comments, invariably, men felt offended and angry.

Rightfully so. It's a gross generalization (and oversimplification).

IAmBroom2w ago
Citation required.

Men do gym for various reasons.

watwut2w ago
It is gross generalization to say that super buffed is not general female preference? That media targetted at women do not contain such guys, but media targetted at men do?

I suggest you look at those media. Big muscles are what men like men to have.

paganel2w ago
> A bunch of guys got furious that women did not appreciate Olly’s gains

Those are not real "gains", he looks like a chicken with muscles in the second photo, maybe a chicken that can lift some weights but still a chicken. I'm a male, if it counts.

lambdadelirium2w ago
Why this is even posted here
joegibbs2w ago
I don't think you can get much of an accurate answer over whether women prefer buff men from this. He's doing a pose which makes him look tiny in comparison, skinny with oversized arms. The lighting doesn't help either, it makes him look balder and his face look older. Also he's got some decent muscle in the before picture, just a higher bodyfat %. I'd be interested to know what the results would look like if it was more of a recomp where he was closer to his starting weight but with more mass, rather than a straight cut.
UncleMeat2w ago
The article does reference research demonstrating that men often are completely incorrect about the preferences of women. While "the lighting and pose are what does it" is nowhere near the "women are lying" stuff that the article is talking about, I really think that the starting point should be taking opinions like these at face value.

Notably, men significantly preferred the photo on the right. If the issue were lighting and pose making him look smaller on the right, why don't we see this same effect in the responses from men?

ZeroGravitas2w ago
I generally agree with the points being made so this is just for added context:

His wife is a fitness influencer and bodybuilder who has been leading his training.

Not sure how that impacts things overall but think it interesting and relevant.

IAmBroom2w ago
Relevant to what? The subject is "What women prefer, and what men believe that women prefer?"
cyco1302w ago
The reverse effect is also interesting: I think what women think men go for in a woman is very different from whan men actually prefer. Reminds me of Seinfeld's The Fix-Up episode: "Who cares about eyebrows"!
benterix2w ago
This is huge. I don't know any single men who loves these artificial huge eyelashes or large multicolored fingernails, but for some reasons tons of women classify them as "beauty" factors. I'd say men just tolerate them as part of the package so to say, and women are manipulated into just following the crowd.

Then there is this completely separate category of lip jobs and boob jobs where some women are definitely convinced doing these will make them more sexually attractive to men, and it definitely work for some of them, but has the opposite effect on others.

aaaja2w ago
He looks gaunt and balding in the second photo.
7e2w ago
A man with no body fat is at high risk of death during a severe infection. Women might instinctively pick up on that. A dead man can’t provide or protect.
nh23423fefe2w ago
i mean, sure you can posit that. but "theyre lying" is so much simpler. they lie all the time right?
cantrecallmypwd2w ago
Another thing is that muscle requires constant maintenance in the forms of exercise and food.

The overweight but otherwise healthy individual will last longer in crisis situations. I'm about 60 lbs. overweight, which translates to around 3 months of caloric reserves (likely an unhealthy amount TBH).

Before industrialization, being overweight was seen as a mark of beauty and wealth regardless of gender.

(Not a rationalization for being unfit or unhealthy when taken to extremes.)