The issues the writer points out with fractured USB protocols and versions doesn't really affect anyone except developers dealing with these devices.

Consumers who regularly used tech quickly found that some USB-A cables are power only without dat a(like micro USB cables included with a fan). People who didn't understand there were two fewer wires inside that fan charging cable would think it was just broken.

At least with USB-C, every device I've ever plugged in other than monitors has worked great. And monitors are complex and varied; not every USB port needs to support video. I don't see any of these things as problems; they're working within the specs and design for flexibility and lower cost to the manufacturer and consumer.

Tldr: USB C is a fragmented mess of different standards that all happen to use the same connector, it's impossible to tell them apart and it's not going to get better anytime soon.

People still get confused why their micro usb cable won't work with a computer. They don't stand a chance when it comes to USB C.

USB-C is miles better than what we had before and is still very relevant.

Is this a parody article, or strictly an Android problem?

We keep multiple USB-C chargers around the house, and all of our devices work with them.

The end.