I’m looking for a new job and I’m not sure if I should even keep applying to SWE roles or not. Looking back on the 6 years I’ve been working as a SWE, I’ve always ended up in a position where I was pretty miserable after a couple years no matter what company I was working for at the time. I’m annoyed at all the process, I’m annoyed with the people, I’m not interested in what the company is doing, and it just feels like such a grind.

Earlier on, I thought that this was just a symptom of not liking the product, culture, or just getting bored of what I was working on at the time and could be fixed by going to a different company. But now after working at 3 different companies of slightly different sizes, I’m starting to think that maybe I just don’t enjoy this field as much as I thought I would.

I’m definitely not a 10x engineer who is constantly cranking out code, and if I’m being honest with myself I am just a slightly above average engineer. I’m good enough to do the tasks that are needed of me but that’s about it. I’m not going above and beyond frankly because I don’t have the mental bandwidth to give 150% at my job and still be able to live a normal life outside of work.

I’m still interested in writing software on my own time, but I keep waiting for something to click where I feel confident and good at what I do that never really comes, and a change of environment has not helped either. All of the companies I talk to are only “hiring the best” and I always think to myself “that’s not me” so I’m wondering if it’s time to just pursue other options. Any advice would be appreciated.