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Ask HN: How do you prevent or resolve cofounder conflict?

5•shunicorn•2h ago
I’ve been in tech (SWE) and consulting for 15 years, much of that in early-stage startups. I’m a founder myself and once had a fallout with a cofounder and friend. I’ve also seen other companies die because of cofounder conflict.

I’ve seen stats that say 65% of high-potential startups fail due to cofounder tension. Yet as far as I know, most incubators and accelerators don’t provide tools for alignment, decision-making, or conflict prevention.

Recently a former colleague in a 3-person founding team told me they were on the brink of breaking up. I’ve spent the last 5+ years teaching and facilitating Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and conflict resolution, so I worked with them for a month. We set up communication norms and a disagreement protocol. They’re still together and say their comms are improving.

I’m starting to think these kinds of skills and protocols could really help build trust within teams and de-risk venture investments.

I’m curious about your experiences:

- Have you seen good ways to prevent conflict from surfacing in the first place?

- When disagreements do come up, what has helped manage or resolve them?

- Have you seen incubators, accelerators, or investors provide any support in this area?

- Looking back, what blindspots did you have early on that led to conflict or rupture later?

- At the core of the conflict, what do you think was really going on? Do you think it could have been worked out with more support?

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