THE WORST! Why can't we just work?! Do stuff, make money, get the f- out.

[1] https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2025/09/250927031224.h...

What helps:

- Challenging the idea that you need to mask to be successful. If masking is a recipe for burnout, then it actually seems like it's a strategy that will lower your chance for success. How much of the need here is self-imposed?

- Owning your calendar and timing for meetings to better suit your energy.

- Regular therapy and reflection, honestly.

- Regular exercise, doesn't matter who you are or what form, this is essential.

I can respect that this "simulation" fosters empathy, but worry that it also awfulizes/catastrophizes solvable problems. Figuring out functional routines and managing burnout is just as big a part of the job as writing code. It's very much a personal responsibility, maybe not in the job description, maybe harder for some than others, but it is our responsibility.

I’m lucky enough to be on the lower/moderate side of things, but man all of this stuff hit home in its own way. Annoying noises (for me it’s the whine of cheap electronics or the chaotic bass of some music genres/upstairs neighbors), the forceful imposition of others in my space (“cameras on!”, scented cleaners, voluntold activities), and the daily task micromanagement to get by (do I call a friend/family member since they’ve texted me three times today about a trivial matter, or do I watch comfort shows and work on a personal project?).

This shit is hard, and adding in the requirement to engage in political maneuvering to succeed and thrive makes it exponentially worse.

I just want to do a good job and go home to live the best life I can. I suspect most autists are the same.

I think that's the most I can deal with today ;)

Eg.: party near my desk (near my office, even in my office) I will personally cancel their "party", or message each of their bosses etc.

I think, the best thing you can do is to don't care about anybody, "I'm (we're) here to work, if you're not here to work then GTFO".

"Let's have camera's on"...ehm no thanks ;-) etc.

I'm still polite though, I would say highly polite, but if anyone behaves like an idiot, then they will have a problem with me.

Is really being autistic, meaning you take shit from other people all the time? I'm not sure.

It seems like one of those games that I'm going to recall in various situations in the future.

The ADHD modal is hilarious.

I'm not at all familiar with Autism, and I have no idea what "Masking" means at all, but every option I choose seems to lower that stat, to the point where I never make it to day 2. Is there a cheat sheet that lists the "correct" selections at each step?

I was passed over without disclosure. When I did disclose, they tried to fire me. It would be great if they add a feature where you're told for a decade by peers, leads, and managers that you're at the next level, but never actually get there. Then they try firing you while the internal interviews give feedback about how you're likely overqualified for roles at your level. How's your mental health doing after that? The game should add a part about wanting to get hit by a bus during your commute so you cana avoid the torture.

Seriously. Skip coffee.

Most I was able to do is day 2. Probably realistic.

Also I wonder about the meds part, I haven't been prescribed any despite getting a diagnosis

But generally a cool idea, I like the graphics and how the energy inevitably goes down. I think it's more of a US office experience though

Something like the following:

- a game or puzzle which requires working memory, like matching pairs or some puzzles that need a lot of working memory and/or flipping between screens

- this gets interrupted by fullscreen interruptions of someone's face, and text asking questions, or announcing something, and you have to pick an answer or a reaction (multiple choice)

- it could start with questions like 'hi, are you busy?' or 'can I ask you a question?'

- answers which tries to end the conversation quickly could lead to even more demanding reactions or questions

- interruptions stating there is an emergency can lead to a lot of questions and answers which then leads you to discover than it is in fact not an emergency

- once one of these engagements finish you can return to the game and try to complete it

- you'll get multiple interruptions like this

- other interruptions can also flash up, like a notification that a meeting is due in x minutes

- it could then have a short simulated meeting, perhaps just a line by line scroll of dialogue between others, where you need to say nothing

- however, at some point someone will ask you directly about one of the items discussed, and you will be given a set of fairly ambiguous multiple choice answers which you will have to try out until you get to the 'correct' one

- at the end of the meeting you return to the working memory task/game

- this gets interrupted by someone then asking you about the action points in the meeting

- return to the game

- get notifications about the end of your work day coming up

- more interruptions, etc.

this is a fun idea and I like it. You're experience wont be the same as my.

https://psyche.co/videos/enter-the-sensory-world-of-an-overs...

Misophonia for me does not give me any choice. Either the noise stops or I am leaving. If necessary I will explain later. If the noise stops I am possibly leaving anyway in case it starts again. Fortunately in my case the trigger is pretty obscure, like nails on a chalkboard type of rarity -- people don't actually do that so often.

The explanations I thought were dramatized. One of the challenges I think people with autism have is trying to explain their reactions and coming up with things that neurotypical people cannot relate to. It is more like reflexes. I'd be slack-jawed if my co-worker asked me to explain why my leg moved when the doctor hits my knee, "it just does that when you hit it that way", "probably something to do with ligaments, or tendons? IDK". Could you make an "undiagnosed" mode where your scores just go up and down?

And the options -- when the people team came through at $bigcorp and announced tiny hotdesking, I filed all the necessary paperwork, gave constructive feedback, worked with my manager etc, but started looking for new work immediately and noped out at the first opportunity. The people team was happy to close the file which was growing fat with demerits like not hanging my coat the right way, but my peers and reports were upset. well done people team! This was at a company that professed to be supportive of neurodivergence.

No one wants to hear it but there is a vast difference between those on the spectrum and those not. I am in tech and i have never met anyone autistic. This is because the sad reality is that autism makes it that hard to hold down a job even if high functioning.

It is grossly over exaggerated by many and used as an excuse. This is not saying anyone here does that but in media it is extremely common. This only makes it harder for those who do suffer from it. The majority of autism stereotypes are almost all on the high functioning side. Closer to the low functioning side, it is very sad.

It faced some controversy in its day. Do you think now is a better time for games like this?

the first 2 years i had a sense that i needed to read between the lines in many conversations and asking for clarity on topics of budget, clients, and contracts was not done. to be clear: asking for details on requirements is completely normal and encouraged

ive become competent at compartmentalizing after 5 years. ive offered unsolicited advice to my less socially aware coworkers which only lead to more confusion as they had not noticed things said "between the lines" and have almost no interest in clients

i cant imagine having to mask through day-to-day life and a job which demands masking by people without disability. no wonder i didnt make it to dinner in the sim

Why do both eating a proper breakfast and skipping breakfast affect your masking negatively? No one is around, what difference does it make?

is this even autism specific?? ha

It is not about "hot desk" but just not being able to see that some time you will need to reorganize how you sit. And not everyone will get the perfect spot.

Is it really a thing for some people that you need to sit on the same place always? I was never sure how much it offended some people or if they were just being comfortable.

I had no idea about masking, even though I’ve been doing it for as long as I remember being alive. Aaaah, it’s so draining. When I was younger (in my 20s) I used to think there’d come a time when I’d finally come out of my shell. I’m pushing 40 now, but the shell is only thicker, the cave deeper, the walls taller. Instead of dreaming that one day I’ll be “like everyone else”, I’m contemplating the day I’ll cease to exist. Funny.

It’s easy to remove the locus of control by saying “this environment wasn’t built for me” but do appreciate how much it actually /is/ created for you.

Right off the bat, I don't do "self-care" in the morning and I don't eat breakfast, so I can't get past #1

You'll annoy the hell out of some people, and thats fine. They can find other people to spend time with.

You can probably find a good community where you are, and if not just move to SF which is something like the autism homeland. Being autistic there is valorized and even imitated in sort of amusing ways.

Masking is a kind of hell, living someone else's life. Unmasking and living as yourself feels scary at first but the people who will love you that way can only find you if you live that way.

As for the game itself, it seems a bit punishing / too pessimistic? I don't want to be insensitive but I don't think my choices would lead my character, who was maintaining a full time job for this long, to collapse at their desk midday and be fired.

Honestly I think everyone feels like this to some degree and most people are hiding their contempt for the structures at work.

This is a grind for pretty much everyone. To give you the other side, to someone extroverted and socially attuned, the fake nonsense is more grating and insulting than it is to you, I'd guess. Life is hard and everyone has his cross to bear.

Similarly, I don't understand the decisions related to the driving environment: it appears to be a personal vehicle, surely you, as the owner, can make the interior environment something that's as close to personally comfortable as possible? Maybe I'm missing the takeaway from the driving decisions.

Related, what is or isn't masking seems very confused. To begin with, it's not just code for "hiding or not hiding behaviors that appear socially irregular." But it's also not the case that deciding whether to participate in a non-working-hours event is or isn't masking in of itself.

Presenting behavior in a socialized way when necessary is a skill that's harder (as I understand it) for those on the autism spectrum, but I don't think that makes every application equivalent to masking.

Yeah in my 20s, and early 30s, I could eat breakfast while logging onto the computer and starting to work.

But now in my 40s I take some time for self-care, not sure if it counts, but it's difficult to answer a question like that with either or.

Decades on the computer has forced me to do Yoga every morning too. So it's not like I want to do it, I just realized that I have to.

I lost when I went to a work outing instead of staying home, but I had RSVP'd to the outing. This is what the game doesn't cover, I never RSVP unless I can keep my word. Never commit!

In my mind these decisions were literally the opposite - I was being honest about what the character wanted and was making space for myself.

Is masking about faking interactions with other people? But nearly everything that I get dinged for about masking doesn't even involve others. Is it about hiding symptoms from others? Or from hiding things you don't like from yourself?

Plenty of autistic people experience actual disability. And masking isn't just "what everyone does at work". Masking is a trauma response. Autistic people in genral have been abused for their 'abnormal' behavior to the point of being so traumatized that masking is not even a choice. They must hide for fear of further abuse and harassment.

Abuse such as "everyone's a little autistic" and "that's not a disability" or "you just want attention"

Making passing judgements on someone's disability that you clearly don't understand makes you a bigoted asshole. Stop it.

1. Things that I brush off or bounce back from have a cumulative effect that leaves some autistic people 'in the red'. It affects them and sticks with them more than it does to me.

2. Options that are not at all realistic or sensible to me like 'not taking meds' - i would never consider skipping a prescription. several cases offered responding with formal processes and complaints that are wildly inappropriate for the offense. Are you showing that to an autistic person these terrible choices somehow seem to be viable?

3. This sample environment is over-the-top with caricatures of the worst sort of job activities populated by judgemental and sneering villains. Are you trying to show that to an autistic person they only see a day full of the very worst things - that they fixate on these problems and don't put them in context with the rest of the experience?

An uncharitable person could take away that autistic people are fragile, make poor choices, and only see the worst in the people around them.

Maybe this was more meant as a comic rant that autistic people could enjoy as a parody of their shared experiences? I'm not actually sure this is accomplishing what you want.

Being able to hear songs in your head sounds great until you have the same one on repeat for days.

This morning it's "the things we do for love". Not sure where that one came from.

Also high pitched sounds (seagull deterers) or electricity buzzing. I learnt at a physics class at high school that I could hear higher pitches than other kids as well, although now that I'm older I've probably lost some of that.

Thank you for making this, I think you just saved me from flushing two years of personal progress down the toilet in the name of... What? Fucking business logic? I'll pass on that, I think, and keep improving my life on my own terms.

And maybe address the question why, again and again, I keep finding ways to convince myself that this is what I want my life to be. No matter how many times it leads me to crash and burn and have to spend years picking up the pieces.

Seriously, thank you. If I ever meet you, I will buy you a beverage to your liking, to go, so you can go home and enjoy it in peace.

/g

Really appreciate the effort you put into this and being vulnerable sharing your own personal experience so openly with us

Thank you

Welcome thoughts on what has worked and what has not worked.

Even when clicking responses that seem like they should make relationship go down and energy up, like giving a minimal response, instead it makes energy go down a lot and relationships go up.

While the topic is eating, I hate lunch around noon on a workday because it disables my higher brain functions for a couple of hours. It is almost mandatory however because what else am I supposed to use that mandatory break for? Just vegging out? That's pointless. I'm not working construction, I don't need to rest my body, I'm doing screen work. What I need is them not riding my back about how I'm not always laser focused on the BS they have us do. My brain decides when I need to put work aside and think about things that aren't such tedium.

Isn't that just part of everyday life as a grown-up?

"Story mode" thinkers should be considered atypical, detached from reality, IMO. Coworkers convinced the political prison of job culture is just and honorific, for example.

The noise was distracting to me so to complained, after a long while they eventually got someone in... but they just put in a really noisy fan in the office close'ish to our desk. They didn't fix it the extra fan did nothing, it couldn't pull more air then it was given.. obv.. so then I had even more noise and the A/C system still didn't work.

I gave up trying to get it improved, and worked with headphones most of the time. No one else finds it an issue.

At the end of the day when staying late and the A/C systems turns off, I can feel a huge load lifted of my shoulders, and I can think much clearer.

Also the lights are horrible, if I'm working alone in the weekend I'll leave them off, it's so much nicer, less harsh. But again I seem the only one who noticed and is affected by it.

I eventually got so burnt out, crashed and quit... have been unemployed for... many many years now. Hard to say why I couldn't another job. I think maybe PTSD of my (first) and last experience, along with intense anxiety to just start. (interviewing is a painful experience, not only do I have to answer and ask questions, but need to fake eye contact, make small talk etc, all to get a job I'll probably have to bail out of.

I've tried to do some self-employed stuff, but nothing has given much income. (living with parents, I feel terrible about it, but no idea how to escape my living hell)

- guy that thinks everyone has the tism and the spectrum is everyone - this guy has more trouble reading the room than anyone. but it is the lack of empathy and not autism

- guy that thinks everything is a microaggression towards his autism and ironically makes it harder for other autists

- guy with probable schizoid personality disorder that thinks struggling with people and social issues is just life because everyone is stupid and annoying

- guy who read Bad Therapy once and now thinks autism is a tiktok trend

- insufferable fedora guy that thinks psych is unscientific - probably secretly has severe depression and is making it everyone else's problem by being a jerk. whenever called out 4 being jerk blames the autism he probably doesn't actually have

- guy who thinks the solution is just be yourself

- guy with trauma from being themselves landing them on a PIP

A primary problem in tech is how everyone is seriously lacking in social skills and empathy. This is exhausting for autists and everyone. The real autism simulator is just existing in tech.

Unless you're super hypoglycemic I guess.

Suggestion: rather than hard coded choices, allow free-form input and use an LLM to convert that into a metric

If you don't feel like doing something you know is good for you, do it anyway. You'll feel better afterwards.

I even build a custom AI therapy tool for myself.

I have issues including high anxiety and it's very clear that the author is not properly dealing with their anxiety which is driving their decision making process. It is a common comorbidity and this game feels a lot like anxiety - "do I do this or that" never knowing or trusting the answers.

The decision to not take or half take meds is a red flag. I am on meds that will make me feel like dog shit before noon If I don't take them. It's a worse feeling than any discomfort that comes from taking them, brain fog and headaches included. No way should you cold turkey these things. They may be on the wrong medication or an improper dose. Are they being honest with their doctor? Are they comfortable with their doctor and feel they are helping? Anxiety will prevent people from being honest with doctors and even themselves. There is also a lot of mistrust in doctors and some neurodivergent people are outright hostile towards doctors which is a problem they need to overcome. There are good and bad doctors like there are good and bad pizza joints - find a better doctor (or pizza.) Telehealth is a god send - more options to talk to professionals. There are specialists who are tuned into your issues and some even suffer the same! Meds also fuck up your appetite - don't forget to eat which kills your mental state.

Another thing is are you hydrated enough? I get this hyper focus where I WONT move. Like I wont get up for hours until I am or practically pissing or shitting my pants because I cant stop what I am doing. I have found this leads to dehydration and hunger that is ignored which severely degrades my mental state. I have learned to use a few simple methods to break this state and I have gotten better at consciously recognizing this state and take a short break.

Masking sucks. Don't bother cosplaying other people or trying to find normal because I got news for you: no one is really normal. Just be yourself but do be mindful of your interactions. I used to be so anxious around people that I would never look them in the eye or say hello and avoided contact. Now I make an effort to say hello, look them in the eyes, and during conversation focusing on their words while maintaining eye contact as much as possible. I would fidget and make noise to distract myself - even in meetings, likely some stimming thing, which then distracts others pissing them off. I love to doodle so I used that to my advantage and doodle in a notepad I take with me to occupy my fidgety hands so I'm not tapping or banging pens or phones. When I want to sing I keep it low and do it on a quick break, like get up and take a walk around the building while quietly singing a song or talking to myself.

We are animals and we train ourselves in all of the bad habits we have. Anxiety is a great trainer of avoidance which is massively harmful. Anxiety will make you take the path of least resistance every single time which leads to a life where you don't feel in control where every little thing becomes a trigger in this fragile state. It's mentally exhausting and you burn out. If you give in you will wind up a helpless mess. There are a lot of mental exercises that WILL help you but it takes time and effort. I used to think those self affirmations and other mind exercises were bullshit but you know what, they are only bullshit if you tell yourself that over and over (again, training.) I see too many neurodivergent people outright dismiss a lot of help and seek shelter in communities which are echo chambers that reinforce negative behaviors and even stir up anger issues leading to hostile behavior. Bad stuff.

I've learned I am not weak because of my brain chemistry and that I have the power to overcome a lot of my issues. I am not ashamed of who I am because I have no control over that aspect. It's not a perfect life but I aim to try and be as happy as I can. There is no magic pill that will cure all symptoms but some pills can tackle your most debilitating symptoms. You will not go to a therapist/psych and come out a new person in a day, week, month, or year. It is a constant state of being mindful of your mental state and developing skills to deal with these states in a positive and healthy way. You will fail along the way and that is okay - failure is natural and normal. Just get back up and try again. People respect tenacity and honestly, little by little it makes you feel better. Believing in yourself and investing the effort and time becomes rewarding. Even if its just little bits and pieces at first - it adds up. I used to think I was better off dead and that scared me which led me to make changes and seek real help. It takes time. lots of time. But it's well worth it.

I will never wear my brain chemistry as some badge of honor or costume - it's merely a part of what makes me whole. There is so much more to me (and you!) than divergent brain chemistry.

I don't know what this means and I don't understand the first choice: Open a template and force crisp AC: "Given/When/Then"

Leucovorin, a prescription/medical form of Folinic acid, was mentioned recently by RFK Jr./HHS as an effective treatment for some forms of childhood autism.

Politics aside, I recently saw some anecdotal cases of marked immediate improvement in young children.

https://www.tiktok.com/@cassie.hudgins/video/755601851016659...

Has anyone tried the over-the-counter version as an adult? The over-the-counter version which seems to be basically the same compound as Leucovorin, just not produced in a medical setting and exacting medical standards.

PS, please don't just downvote, reply to the comment instead with your objection or correction to what I wrote (if you have one)

Everyone would rather be cozy on the couch under a warm blanket than wake up at 6:30AM every day before commuting to type meaningless stuff at a computer desk, be exposed to a sensory environment that is far from ideal, and converse with people they would never associate with if they didn't have to. The experience of the wage worker is a universally reviled existence that is far from a unique plight afflicting those with high-functioning autism.

Is the implication that someone without autism could deal with all these stressors effortlessly with no need to think or put any effort in?

For example, sensitivity to background noise is an extremely normal thing which is strongly correlated with intelligence.

Similarly, the tendency to get caught up in learning about interesting things instead of paying attention to boring things. This is just another sign of intelligence.

Another example: I also have to "mask" in social situations, and I find it exhausting. But it is only exhausting in the presence of alien people who expect alien behavior. If I am around my own people, or if I have enough power to simply defy expectations and behave normally, then there is no exhaustion. If people like me were in control, then "normal" people would have to mask, and they would find it exhausting.

So, there is no "disorder" here. You are just an intelligent person who lives in enemy territory, and who struggles to conform to their expectations, which are completely alien to your nature.

Conclusion. If you are struggling with "autism", the solution is to band together and seek power.

That being said, I found several of these situations triggering. I am definitely a high masking ND, so I can deal with much more than what this game allows.

40 y/o. Often skips breakfast. Puts in AirPods on noise-cancellation mode with nothing playing. Wakes up at 2am with a song repeating in my head making it so I can't sleep.

Interesting to read about the origin of the term.

For me, even though I didn't personally relate to a lot of the situations and experiences - not a software dev, working for a small company that knows and supports my neurodiversity - the overall feel had just enough familiarity for me to go "yep", and it actually got me thinking about my own choices and self-care, on a day where I'd been beating myself up about things outside my control.

Good work, OP.

For most people, the golden rule works. Treat other people as you want to be treated, and modulo rare interactions with asshole people, you get along well.

For autistic people interacting with most non-autistic people, you've got to use the diamond rule. Treat other people as they want to be treated.

I love when people just straight up tell me directly that I am wrong because of X and Y. Give me Crocker's rules. This works very poorly in most situations, however. My superpower is offending people by telling them my (readily correctible) perception of the truth.

When I hit the workspace rearrangement event I felt it in my bones, since my employer did that. However because I have a doctor's note about my noise and light sensitivity, they were able to accommodate me with a dedicated desk in a quieter area.

It isn't the quietest, and I still get shuffled around, but I get to preview the new location and pick the best spot for my sensitivities each time I've moved. So in my case, being open with my management (and reports) about my autism has been a very helpful thing.

There should be more than 4 meters under "Stats", and one of them is just labeled "???" and goes to 0 for no reason.

Two ideas that might deepen the simulation without adding complexity:

- Make the intent explicit by labeling masking as “conformity effort” (with a short tooltip), and split “detection risk” into a separate, slower-moving gauge that mostly changes in social contexts.

- Offer a couple of selectable “profiles” (e.g., sensory sensitivity high/low, ADHD comorbid/not) so players see how the same day plays out differently.

As you open-source it, a “debug view” showing the per-choice deltas and rationale would also help neurotypical players connect the dots. Would you consider parameterizing those profiles so the community can contribute balanced variants?

I wonder why in my 30 years of lived experience (in India), I never met or heard of anyone being autistic or needing meds for mental health, even amongst the software engineers. But this seems to be fairly prevalent in the US.

It might be under diagnosis but medical services and pharma are extremely cheap and fairly competent, at least for the engineers.

May be they don't openly talk about it due to stigma.

I can't imagine what they would go through here, it's a extremely social culture where you are socially forced into group festivals, gatherings and frequent visits from relatives.

I can shed light into the food thing (I don’t think of myself as autistic but the people around me do, my kid is diagnosed - I was the last one to clue in “that’s just being a kid” I would say); so food, making yourself a proper breakfast is self-care, and self care takes energy. Making yourself breakfast is a lot of work, so you do it and it eats your energy, or you don’t do it and you feel shittier later because you didn’t eat.

It’s a shitty catch-22.

And some days you’re tired from the day before; I love that the sim carried over the energy levels from the day before because sleep does help but there’s no real reset, the day before carries into the next day so you’ll be like “I know I should make myself food, but I’m exhausted” so you avoid it and it turns out worse, or you do it and now you’re tired for the next task.

  - I don't like the choices given
  - Why did both options, make my x score drop?
  - I don't understand how this game is scored
  - I don't agree with how this game is scored
  - That's not what masking is/everybody has to do that

Games like this are never going to be perfect simulations of even a single person's experience, but are great for demonstrating that others might not experience the world in the same way as you. And the more people understand that, the more empathy and less conflict there will be in the world.

To be fair, this doesn't scream autism, it screams abusive employer. Given the workday that was described, I'd have been out of energy too.

If anything, if you've disclosed autism as a disability, it would be harder for them to fire you, especially if they failed to provide "reasonable adjustments".

Reminds me of the the old quote: "before you diagnose yourself with depression, make sure you're not in fact surrounded by assholes".

Some of the options don't show at all, I get a blank screen. Coming from Tor.

"Energy Burnout: You collapse at your desk, your body desperately trying to atone for days of fragmented sleep. As the waves of deep, restorative, dreamless sleep wash over you, you're roused by a gentle shake. It's 2AM and security has found you asleep at your desk. HR schedules a 'wellness check' but the writing is on the wall. You're fired. Congratulations! You've successfully burned out in record time. The HR department will be in touch about your "performance improvement plan."

Perhaps tune the choices, and the effects to have a net neutral bonus and penalties to have a longer gameplay loop. Having random weights to the actions might work as well.

I commute to work by train and even though I have great headphones and listen to music on Spotify some mornings it just crackles in my ears. The audio is fine, but I'm extra sensitive sometimes.

At the office people are sometimes very loud. They are excited and having fun but when it goes over my sensory limit (which varies a lot) I become unable to do anything. Ears crackling with headphones means I can't shut their noise out either. And we're supposed to be social at the office but they talk about stuff I don't know what to say about.

When I get home I am beyond exhausted. Can't sleep because of anxiety or adrenaline or something. I just zombie out streaming series or movies while reading Hacker News, Reddit or Bluesky. I promise myself I'll go to sleep early but if I do I can't fall asleep until 2-4am. If I stay up until 1am I have better chance of falling asleep faster.

Weekends are spent catching up with sleep, wanting to tidy up and do side projects as well as gaming but most times I spend half the day in bed and then stay up gaming or something because it is my time and I want to do the fun stuff. Rince and repeat unless I get lucky and catch 10 to 12 hours of sleep.

I'm a 47 year old female principal engineer. I feel like I'm just drifting through the days and months. But I do live my work, the people and challenges. I just wish I could deal with everything better.

Thanks for making this game.

It's hilarious in the sense that this too is part of a daily experience and alienation, but it's really depressing and tiring to see that even when hands are held people are still shitheads about it. Why is this the case? I genuinely don't understand why everyone can't take a deep breath and figure out that the obvious has been tried, doesn't work and therefore isn't useful? That maybe people deserve a little patience and understanding, instead of yet more pushy bad attitude?

Honestly I appreciated the one comment from someone with autism and everyone else complaining just seems like they think they know everything. One commenter even called it whiney!

these steps will ensure your body actively tries to be in the parasympathetic instead of sympathetic. side effects.. bladder and bowel might become a little bit overactive but that is okay as you r strengthening the pelvic floor.

One reason I believe this is that my own experience is that I go into and out of this state. When I'm unhappy and unfulfilled, I find that I can't adapt to new information, and noises stress me out, and getting through the day is draining, and being around other people requires masking. When life is going better, everything seems more manageable, when I'm able to relax... all the symptoms subside again. But the state where the symptoms are real can last for months or years, because it's so hard to find the path out. It is like the feeling of being in a relationship that's not going well but not so badly that you've found a justification for breaking up. Your whole mind shuts down and you can't put your finger on why... but then later, after a breakup, or maybe some time later, you wake up and realize that that wasn't actually you; you were sick somehow, starved of something essential to being yourself and unable to perceive what was going on.

The world feeling "hopeless" induces this in me, and I think everyone around me also. More political polarization; more people seeming disconnected or unempathetic; urban ennui and disenchantment and corporatization---these all make it worse. It feels impossible for some people to grow and change in a world that feels rigid instead of fluid; that expects them to already "be there" and judge them or react with confusion to them if they're not. Whereas a dynamic environment, where people are curious about each other, where they show compassion and empathy to new people or any one who is struggling... that seems to allow them to open up and change and grow.

"Essentializing" this condition is harmful: you are not essentially broken; you are broken vis-á-vis the world around you, but it can be due to problems with the world instead of you. Actually there is something very very wrong with how the world works. People and institutions and norms are supposed to set up an environment in which nobody feels like this, but they don't, so everyone is "sick". I like to call this "The Virus". The Virus is a condition that almost everyone has---it's the virus of being closed off, nervous, and unable to open up with strangers in a way that makes them feel comfortable and able to grow. When everyone in a community has the Virus, other people around them don't get the ability to change and heal and grow the way they need to, so they get the Virus too, and spread it on. It's a condition of omission: it is only really possible to be healthy in an environment where the majority of people around you are also healthy, and when 90% of people are unhealthy, the last 10% follow inevitably. Hence the Virus is contagious, even though it's not a "physical" condition.

The trap of it is that everyone is masking, and at different skill levels. The people who mask well seem "fine", although they are not, which makes the people who mask less well feel like something is horribly wrong with them. Since nobody is able to conceptualize what is happening, they search desperately for explanations, and "autistic and/or ADHD" is the most agreeable model they find. It's wrong, but in the setting where nobody has a better model, it's the best you can do--at least it explains and justifies their immediate needs.

"Something is wrong with me, and you can't understand it because our minds work differently, but I need you to accomodate it." True, entirely, yes, but not the best model. "Something is wrong with all of us and we need to blow this paradigm up and change it to a new one so that everyone can flourish" would be a better model that would actually have a hope of succeeding.

I believe that the above characterization is true, and I believe that it's important to believe it's true, because "essentializing" the condition locks you out of the inductions that actually have a chance to do something about it. If you believe it's in your head, then you can cope by trying to adapt, but you're doomed to mostly fail because it's not actually in your head. Whereas if you believe it's a problem in the world, then the natural conclusions are things like "How do I start to change the world around me? How do I protest the way it is? How do I get people on board with changing it also?" And that's going to be more productive, long-term. Revolt, damnit. The thing to be talking about is how to do something about it. Coping is just coping.

in short, please join my revolution, stop calling yourself autistic, call the world around you fucked up. I am so sure that many of the people who call themselves autistic would thrive if the people and institutions around them weren't so devoid of human warmth and connection and dignity. Probably you've even experienced that -- in school or in some other setting in your life. Probably the reason you feel so broken now is that you vaguely remember what it felt like to flourish and you're floundering at figuring out why it's so hard to find again. It's because the world is broken as shit! It's the Virus! Everyone has it! You would be fine if they didn't; if the world wasn't broken! You've been fine before! That's not a lie; you're not broken; you're suffering because you're not getting anything like oxygen for your soul and you're suffocating in that feeling but nobody around you is even able to acknowledge it.

Seems like turning off the annoying sound would be a good thing. This, unfortunately, just makes autism seem inscrutable and something I will just never understand.

(It's probably meant as an OCD trigger; barely anyone uses anything but space/enter/any key to dismiss the splash screen)

Reality is not so simple. There are always ways you can change your life or your job that don't require you to hurt yourself.

You should think more deeply before publishing something like this

Amazing how rewatching the same show the umpteenth time is so relaxing.

The Covid lockdowns were a godsend. I imagine they were for many others too.