This is absolutely the wrong statistic to apply.

This discusses the lifetime risk of ANY IPV event and does not even limit this to people who have children.

But despite being the wrong statistic, there’s 25% increase in lifetime risk for women over men

For example, you could imagine a world where men are significantly more likely than women to commit DV, making some subset of that 28.5% men who have suffered at the hands of other men. It would also imply that gay women are less likely to experience DV, which would widen the gap further. That said, I believe many more couples are hetero than not, so maybe it wouldn't make much of a difference.

To be clear, I'm not making this specific claim about men, just illustrating that I think the statistic quoted doesn't _directly_ justify the claim "women aren't that much less likely to offend" (although it does lend credence to it)

I was my wife's caregiver and dad to 5 young sons over 20years. I was the sole parent taking them to playgrounds and other outdoor activities, upwards to 200x a year.

In all those events, I never experienced nor witnessed anything remotely like what you described. Not for me and not for any other solo dad. On rare occasion, I was complimented for spending time with them. That's about all the notice I got.