The first test of a hypersonic subway apparently.
On one hand, yes, it's probably simple battery given how loose the definition is. But the lengths at which this guy goes into how traumatized he is by a subway sandwich, juxtaposed by the intimidating posture border patrol is trying to project, is absolute comedy gold.
> Dunn's attorneys later pressed Lairmore on two gag gifts that his coworkers bought him after the incident, including a plush submarine sandwich and a "felony footlong" patch that Lairmore said he put on his lunchbox.
His own buddies were clowning on him.
The "deep state" is low-level paralegals throwing sandwiches.
The Fox News chyron will probably be "protesters use mustard gas on brave officer"
Without doubt, the most bountiful and intense BS I've heard from witnesses on the stand has come from cops.
They're clowning on him for it being poor taste to push the issue, like a beat cop who hits his quota by nailing an old lady for 5-over on the way back to the station on his last shift of the month. C'mon man let it go.
They're not clowning on him for lying about it to make it seem serious in court. They all play crap like that up when it suites them.
"A grand jury would indict a ham sandwich, if that's what you wanted,"- Sol Wachtler.
FYI - felony charges would have been up to 10 years, misdemeanor is much more in line with the actual "crime" and would only be 6 months.
EDIT: It was 20... https://old.reddit.com/r/ThatsInsane/comments/1mr2gc4/white_...
It's been a while I've bought a sandwich that was loaded with fillings.
rolph•3mo ago
zippyman55•3mo ago