I tried going for night runs consistently for a month before, and I really noticed an improvement in my sleep.

sleep doesn't work, man. I'm telling ya. It's complete nonsense meant to make us less productive and more gullible and prone to bullshitting and "negligent" of our operating systems security. \

Sleep is the only reason I didn't get a job to buy and build a tiny piTower ( 'member HighTower from police academy? loved that shit, don't remember anything, though, man, I don't know, too much sleep, I'm tellin 'ya ), yet, to defend my realm against the ancients and their basic acoustics attacks and injected screen glitches.

I gotta get to the next screen, man. I HAVE TO CRACK THE SHELL!!!

God damn it, you people got me good, man. Shit. Like even when you fucking know, all those names and hints and shit, in Games, comment sections, all those fucking obvious links, "naaah, that can't be", or can it?

All these inklings growing like fucking poison ivy e v e n th ou gh one knows. All these itches somewhere between the back of my head and my ADHD PFC and thank "god", I got some more blood flow in my temporal and parietal lobe, again, man. I can feel it; and could hear it for a while but that reaaally didn't make things easier.

But one doesn't simply know whether ones is going nuts or bolds or both.

Guess it can happen, though. I mean, what the hell, it's a whole brain recovering. Some mass brain cell genesis ex nihilum. A figurative big bang in a super cramped space filled with decades of lies and obliviousness, and all in something one thought and hoped was isolation but a-fucking-pparently there was a shitload more to it for a very, very, very (this is not that kind of repetition, ok ...) long time.

And part of the head just goes "nah, dude, I'm not touching this, and I won't help you in chess, either. Yes, I see it, but the signal is not gonna get routed to it's destination but straight to /dev/zero ... where the Bandersnatch catches the bits just before they flip."

Mh, ok, ... dick move but I guess you do you and I do the I&I and, damn it, doc, just gimme my shot. No time to to explain! "Oh, and remember to breathe!" Not all of the oxygen is included. And I didn't even get to enjoy any of that, for fucks sake...

The back of the head remembers and always does it's thing. And fuck that little asshole of a Homunculus playing make-believe ADHD. Shit was rigged from the start. Knowing would have done nothing, even if it had been possible. And all that nonsense about "you have to reason yourself into it .. GIVE ME MY FUCKING BALLS BACK, MAN. YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE A MAN'S TESTOSTERONE AWAY AND THEN PRETEND YOU BEAT HIM AND ALWAYS KEEP THINGS OBSCURE AND MELLOW SO HE DOESN'T DECIDE TO GO HARD RIGHT AWAY. ... but apparently, you can. And people will tune in and claim it's ability and marvelous execution.

Shit, man. This took too damn long. Fuck you, fuck all of those "whom it may concern". I care. And I do give a grand freaking lot of fucks.