It didn't work out as expected, but I applaud the effort.
Anecdotically, what helped me was returning from university to a very depressing party in my home town with a female friend in my early 20s. We had a great time dancing but I could see the guys standing around the dancefloor were 10+ years older than us, undressing her with their eyes while trying to look some movie version of cool with a drink in their hand.
It was such a depressing sight into a potential future - I told her that evening I want a girlfriend.
She just told me to get one then. That's when I started (online) dating.
It was a rocky road from there until I found someone great, but that one moment of "Just do it then" was what made all the difference for me.
Interestingly enough, skipping ahead to the 'perfect' partner from the start would have not worked out I believe. It took a lot of personal growth to become a good partner myself and years of dating and relationships helped figure out what was important to me and where I am willing to compromise.
flntzr•1mo ago
Anecdotically, what helped me was returning from university to a very depressing party in my home town with a female friend in my early 20s. We had a great time dancing but I could see the guys standing around the dancefloor were 10+ years older than us, undressing her with their eyes while trying to look some movie version of cool with a drink in their hand.
It was such a depressing sight into a potential future - I told her that evening I want a girlfriend.
She just told me to get one then. That's when I started (online) dating.
It was a rocky road from there until I found someone great, but that one moment of "Just do it then" was what made all the difference for me.
Interestingly enough, skipping ahead to the 'perfect' partner from the start would have not worked out I believe. It took a lot of personal growth to become a good partner myself and years of dating and relationships helped figure out what was important to me and where I am willing to compromise.