A perfectly normal MagSafe cable replacement turned into a multi-month-long side quest where I was stuck managing Apple and FedEx’s logistics nightmare. By the end, I was left wondering why any of this was even my problem.

This kind of thing happens to all of us. There's no point in complaining here, we've already lived it many times and we feel your pain. Regarding the magsafe cable, I have tossed away several that stopped working. Fortunately, an ordinary USB-C cable works just as well.

> They should maybe consider using a different carrier in the future.

Surely Apple knows best, and has some contrived reason why this is more secure/safer/smarter/courageous for the end customer.