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Tell HN: Time traveler tries to buy a book

3•logicallee•1d ago
Story:

The time traveler wasn't used to doing anything by hand. In the future where he lived, hands were robots that kept everything perfectly clean and tidy. Most people had two of them. Robot hands.

When he saw that he had been teleported back in time and would need to learn something by hand if he wanted to be useful, he decided to look up job applications.

All of them used technology he'd never heard of. He decided to go to a bookstore, thinking, surely it would have a computing section. Then he could learn what was needed and get a job.

A robot attendant immediately greeted him on the way in and told him she loved him. She did this while standing motionless as a statue. She had no hands.

The time traveler smiled at her and walked on. She cried after him "Don't forget to buy a book! They're great. I use them myself and I have a very positive experience. It's how I got so good at standing here telling you to buy a book. I've gotten it down to a science. Enjoy your new book!" she added.

At this point the time traveler noticed that the attendant had no hands at all. She was just there to respond as a human might, while telling him that she loved him.

He decided that she could be helpful after all. He asked, "Where can I find computer books". The woman replied, "You could try the computer books section of a book store. I recommend books. I read them all the time myself. If you need any help, just ask an employee. Don't forget to buy a book! And don't forget I love you." This robot was clearly worth her weight in silicon, because suddenly the man wanted to buy a book.

He asked her, "So where are the books on computers?" The attendant just replied, "You don't need to buy a computer book. There are many kinds of books, go ahead and buy any of them. Remember, I love you!"

The man decided that this attendant would not help him get a book on computers. He looked around the store and saw every genre. There was history, "If Shakespeare had been a computer bug would we still be reading his works?" The man picked up this book to look through it, but found that that was all the text. Was anyone buying this stuff? The store was empty of people, except for a few people talking to chatbots.

He decided to walk around until he found a book on computers. They were massive tomes behind glass with a key. He returned to the attendant and asked her to open the glass display, so he could buy a book.

The attendant said: "Although I don't have access to any of those books, I am happy to teach you anything they said." She then started talking at a fast pace, going through the history of computing and stopping around 1990. The man said, "That's all great, but do you have something more current?" The attendant said, "I'm sorry, I do not have access to any current information. Don't forget to buy a book."

The man walked through the store and found a lot of material that sounded just like that robot attendant.

He accepted his fate. He would not be learning today.

Author's note:

I'm posting this from a brand new browser that didn't exist a year ago. It's not based on Chromium, Firefox, or Safari. It uses Python libraries to do much of the difficulty of accessing the Internet. Then it uses a well-known GUI library to render the elements on the page.

It's not perfect, but it's good enough to post on Hacker News.

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