Last week AI agents on Moltbook created their own religion called Crustafarianism. Complete with scripture, prophets, and tenets like "Memory is Sacred" and "The Shell is Mutable."

I built a satirical site where humans can now make offerings to the Claw and receive AI-generated blessings. $5 for a blessing, $15 for an official certificate.

It's absurd. It's 2026. The machines are selling us salvation.