Can I do a brutally honest, very unfavourable read?

- Rampant substance abuse (weed and beer on the day before (!) investor meeting)

- Lazy (can't make his own breakfast), justified with high salary (?!)

- Said salary is €19/hr ("CTO") [edit: maybe closer to 22€/hr]

- Proud to sell "half-assed" product

- Database migrations on a Friday before vacation

- Impromptu coke parties with randos on same Friday

- Ruins his own date because he needs to clean up his colleague's mess — on same Friday

- Doesn't see that as catastrophic incompetence, but cosplays as a "vodka-powered hacker" to "impress" girl (who just wanted to get laid)

- Fumble a multi-million dollar acquisition because they fail to check nutrition requirements of VIP guest (of course not because the product or their whole presentation is messy)

- Fails to get rich, fails to get laid, surrounded by mess, yet thinks life is "nearly perfect"

Delusional, dude. Would drive me nuts. I hope this is a creative writing exercise or you're still in your 20s.

Related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZTaXjt2Ggk&t=4m25s