I solve this problem by having open and emotionally honest conversations with people who might call me. For my relationship with my employer, I formed a union with my coworkers and we negotiated rules around being paged for production incidents.

I think this is a cool technical achievement. Perhaps it is the best solution for the author. But I encourage everyone to consider whether a technical fix doesn't trap you in a local maximum that you could escape from with some good old fashioned reflection on your values and negotiation with your friends, family, and colleagues.