After further consideration, I have come to the conclusion that graduate education in Economics would be impractical for me and not aligned with my goals. So you do not have to expect to write a letter of recommendation for me. Also, I would like to briefly explain some of the statements I made regarding my motivations. When I approached you two with my circumstances, I was feeling considerably ambitious. Again, I sincerely appreciate the professional and courteous replies from both of you. I would like to note that my ideas were not merely empty boasts. You see, since kindergarten, very high expectations were put on me by my parents, my teachers, and my community. I do not want to make unprovable claims about my talent, so instead, I will say this: I always took things seriously, to a fault probably. All of this is to say that the idea that I have for a company that would compete with Google is a realistic one and has potential. However, I do not have the ability or the capital to make it a reality. So I do not know where I would begin if I were to pursue this. The reason why I bring this up with you guys is because you two likely have a powerful connection in Hal Varian, the author of that textbook. Hopefully now you see how serious I am about my idea and my opinion of my own talent, that I would ask of you to connect me with Mr Varian himself. If you have any way to connect me with Mr Varian or someone within his inner circle so that I could share my ideas and be fairly compensated, I would be in your debt. Yet, even if you could make good on such a high request, it probably would not even make a difference. You shouldn't feel any burden about my unusual request because it is very likely that the powers that be already know about my idea, possibly in part from my posting about it on Reddit 3 years ago. I've developed this idea further since then, but it doesn't even matter because I came to the realization that a company like Google, being one of the largest companies in the tech sector, doesn't have the incentive to develop a company that could compete against it and would have all the interest in the world to consolidate one if one ever came into existence. Furthermore, the results would be uncertain, even notwithstanding the impact on my own personal life. This is why I inquired about graduate school; instead of creating this fantasy company myself, I could, through government policy, create the environment for others to innovate. But even that would be a foolhardy venture for me. I did not ask for all this- my mother, the media, our society put this on me; my personal ambition had a minor role in all of this. All for what, that I end up categorically disabled? At least I am entitled to welfare, which I am sincerely grateful for. Perhaps this is the natural course of things? I don't know what else to make of it. Maybe I will simply write about it at some point (although writing never came easy to me since I always took everything too seriously). Thank you for reading my email. The words came easy this time and I wrote too much. You do not have to respond unless you are able to offer some kind of help. You may hear from me again if I have the ability to pursue graduate school or if I am looking for somebody to read my writing. I hope you guys enjoy the holidays- it has been a difficult year and things may get worse before they get better (or so they say).