Whoever invented the first number was really smart. The person who invented the second number was even smarter, because they invented math. Suddenly, you could count and calculate things.

Then came the person who decided to organize numbers. In the old, old days, the number two was not between the numbers one and three. It was somewhere else and caused a lot of recounting. It’s why the pyramids took so long to build. But this person saw the messy pile of numbers and organized them in ascending order. Well, after inventing ascending order as well.

[See relevant image in linked post]

All of this happened because you couldn’t count things. Counting didn’t exist. Things were either too few or too many. Have you ever tried buying a car without numbers? It’s a salesman’s paradise, because without numbers, you would always have paid too much for a car you can only afford too little.

Sports were another disaster. The scoreboard was just a greater-than sign nested between the two team logos. Baseball, specifically, used to be even more boring. They kept playing innings until they felt they had played a full game. Winning was a matter of who would last the longest without knowing how much time had passed.

The ones really getting away with it were golfers. Everyone was either under or at par. It was impossible to prove you were awful at golf. These were happier times.

—-

Pasted the post for those who prefer to stay within HN. Happy Friday!