Don't use your phone while you poop

https://nate.spot/no-phone-while-poop/

42•ExMachina73•49m ago

Comments

spottedmarley•45m ago

But then how would I take the photo I need to feed my AI-powered fecal analysis agent?

close04•25m ago

I’m confused, doesn’t your toilet bowl already do that for you?

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/12/despite-accessing-us...

C-x_C-f•18m ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ

gosub100•19m ago

Pro tip: send the photo to spammy overseas recruiters, bonus if you add the photo in a .docx with a password. then when they call you asking for the password, tell them over the phone so you can hear their reaction when they see it.

andsoitis•39m ago

Not just your phone. Don't read books or magazines or do other things.

Get in, take your dump, be done in max 6mins, get up. Don't strain.

bryanrasmussen•18m ago

> be done in max 6mins

this has a very "tell me you haven't had kids yet without telling me" energy to it, in opinion at least.

andsoitis•14m ago

You want to train kids from a young age not to spend a long time on the toilet, which reading encourages. It consistently leads to hemorrhoids. That's just a fact.

stanleykm•12m ago

i think they meant they are purposely sandbagging while on the toilet to get some alone time

lewiscollard•10m ago

Right! If you spend enough time in there to be reading you didn't actually need a shit.

comrade1234•27m ago

...but then when will I do my Duolingo?

Shaanveer•25m ago

what if i end up daydreamin?

nehal3m•17m ago

God forbid a thought might form!

brtkwr•24m ago

Who read this while in the act?

haraldooo•10m ago

[delayed]

tt_dev•10m ago

you called me out

bellowsgulch•22m ago

Literally read this on the toilet. Thanks!

chasing•20m ago

I have an AI agent that poops for me and just reports the results.

hackerbeat•16m ago

ShatGPT?

sethammons•19m ago

Flip side: more sitting on the toilet ensures a more complete emptying and less rushing/straining.

iterateoften•15m ago

? What? A healthy colon and diet usually do not need to strain or rush. Just sit and poop. like 1min tops.

squidbeak•13m ago

You need to get that dysentery tended to.

iterateoften•8m ago

? Sorry? A healthy colon and diet it’s not liquid or messy. A nice type 4 normal solid log that slides on out.

I’m very scared for most people I see online discussing BMs. People have some seriously twisted up guts and diets.

wizzwizz4•7m ago

Everyone's gut is different, but one minute isn't unreasonably short, especially if you have something like a bidet for fast cleaning afterwards. Are you sure you're not constipated?

squidbeak•5m ago

I'm fine, enjoying my book.

al_borland•

ozten•17m ago

From an evolutionary perspective, this is a super vulnerable moment and are in a state of hyper vigilance.

aeve890•10m ago

Eridians have figured out the solution for vulnerable moments: I watch, you shit.

huhtenberg•4m ago

Good one.

InsideOutSanta•9m ago

TIL that in the past, I definitely would have died while pooping.

cesnja•15m ago

If you have time to read on the toilet, then (barring any disease or other disfunction) you’re not getting enough fiber.

squidbeak•11m ago

It's one of the most tranquil parts of the day, and a time out from busier things. What's the rush?

jdw64•13m ago

Sitting on the toilet reading this post gives it a whole different feel.

Waterluvian•12m ago

But there aren’t enough shampoo bottles to read.

jhfdbkofdchk•8m ago

Yes yes I know this contains sodium laureth sulfate what else have you got?

david-gpu•6m ago

Aqua and sodium chloride. Because saying water and salt doesn't sound posh enough, somehow.

Retr0id•11m ago

If pooping is the only time you spend away from your phone, you're not spending enough time away from your phone.

hacker_88•11m ago

Meanwhile Greeks .. "what's up buddy"

lacoolj•11m ago

Obvious, and yet will be ignored

Also, it's nasty. Check out how dirty your phone already is, then add fecal matter to that (you really think when you poop it just lands neatly in the bowl and nothing goes into the air?)

pmarreck•10m ago

There's also showering. (But I've taken to playing music in the shower with a waterproof boombox. Bluetooth'd from my phone, of course.)

And of course, sleeping. ;)

But there is something to this. Intuitive ideas come to you in the quiet moments.

jhfdbkofdchk•9m ago

"Oh! I'm so sorry I must have missed it when you got your PhD in defecation."

huhtenberg•7m ago

Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom.

I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that.

Yet, lo and behold, we survived!

thenthenthen•4m ago

I totally still do this! The random nonsense and just lists of ingredients make me relaxed.

reactordev•7m ago

[delayed]

throw93940r00•5m ago

This must be GenX version of boomers "you are poor because you buy coffees". I need my phone for work, not because of some addictive distraction.

I do not do meditative "quiet reflection" on shitty toilet, I have nice space for that!

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