Keep. Your. Mouth. Shut.
Pseudo-anonymity, with the emphasis on the pseudo part, is only as good as you. If you truly believe in Bitcoin and all that implies, it really is in your best interest to be quiet and keep it to yourself, and this knife cuts in more ways than you might expect. You don’t have layers of security like at a traditional bank. You are the weakest link wrt private keys and storage.
Also, even talking about it amongst folks you think are your friends, like fellow Bitcoin users, isn’t wise either. Hypothetically, if you became exceedingly wealthy on paper, it would be in the interest of others to take you out of the equation so you can’t cash out. If that means a five dollar (or whatever they cost these days) wrench to the head so you stop moving… now that value is locked up in the blockchain! Could this happen to any given bitcoin users with just a few satoshi or whatnot? Very unlikely, but don’t forget that a decade and a half ago, a handful of bitcoins could cost you very little money. Now it has gone up exponentially in value and would make you a big fat target.
There are those on /r/bitcoin that think a wrench won’t ever break their wills and spirits. That math is invincible. Don’t think they’ve ever been on the wrong side of one before. Math might be bulletproof, but wetware is very fragile.
The interesting thing to me about this is watching how we've changed over the past 40 years. As a kid, it was impressed up on kids to not talk to strangers. You don't tell people where you live. You don't tell people anything more than necessary. Now, people share the most intimate details of their daily lives. People share/invite random strangers to their accounts without any concerns about who they are or what they might do. People just do not think about how the most benign of posts can be used for nefarious purposes by someone else. So we've gone from share nothing to over sharing everything.
And I think it all boils down to the fact that some humans need to make noise about their successes so they feel validated. Much like the cryptocurrency evangelists, they probably can’t help themselves because they want to ensure they defend “the mission” even if it comes at great personal cost in the long run.
It's worth worrying about in the general case, too. There are subtler and much more noxious failure modes here than merely getting beaned with a Swedish nut rounder.
During covid some SWEs had pretty sweet gigs due to lowered expectations and a rush on talent. And what do a small fraction of SWEs do? Make “life in the day of” videos that glamorize how cushy and easy-going it is, painting the whole group of SWEs as spoiled and entitled who make too much money. Point is they could’ve just realized they had it good and kept quiet.
But, no, they had to hustle for internet points, even risking their job inadvertently. It’s unbelievable to me how fast we flipped from the internet being an accessory to life to it being a surrogate for actual social interaction.
With events like the recent Coinbase breach, is this even enough?
Of course it would be easy to say one's never touched crypto, and not so easy to prove, as with any negative. I don't care. If I ever get bounced with a King Dick, it'll far more likely be because I said something someone didn't like - which seems to happen about as often as I open my mouth, these days. Or because I said something someone failed to comprehend and so took insult at. Brains are severely out of fashion this decade, and I can't seem to help having some, so presumably someone will seek to scatter them sooner or later. Why not? I hear it's the last argument of kings, and their time too seems coming 'round again.
In any case they better not let me hear them coming. Wiser to spin the block in a car, really. I've never been hit with a wrench before, but it did once take more than a hammer to get me off my feet.
Everything you do to keep keys safe from some risks weakens your posture against other risks. Making sure most people don't know about your holdings is nice and all, but ultimately key management is a really hard problem. It's hard enough for companies, but I'd argue it's even worse for individuals.
Sure you can pressure people to transfer money from banks to you. But that will be easier to trace and the transactions could just be reversed. If moving all your wealth the bank is likely to ask some questions, maybe want to see you in person.
With crypto the philosophy is “be your own bank”. It’s like keeping your money under the mattress. So you are a much more promising target.
The paper *"Investigating Wrench Attacks: Physical Attacks Targeting Cryptocurrency Users"* presents the first comprehensive study on wrench attacks—real-world physical attacks used to coerce cryptocurrency users into handing over their digital assets.
### Summary of the Paper:
#### *Definition & Origin*
* The term "\$5 wrench attack” originates from a webcomic and refers to using physical coercion (like a wrench) instead of complex hacking to obtain information such as crypto keys. * The paper defines wrench attacks as *intentional physical attacks to unlawfully obtain cryptocurrencies* via coercion or violence, combining crimes against both persons and property.
#### *Methodology*
* *Data triangulation* from:
* 10 **interviews** with victims and experts
* 146 **news articles**
* 37 **online forums** (672 posts analyzed)#### *Key Findings*
* Attackers range from *organized crime groups* to *friends, family*, and *even corrupt law enforcement*. * Victims are often *public figures, early adopters*, or participants in *peer-to-peer (P2P) crypto transactions*. * Attacks include *robbery, kidnapping, murder, blackmail*, and a new category: *cryptocurrency-facilitated domestic economic abuse*. * *No user is immune*, including security-savvy individuals. * Attacks have *increased over time*, especially during market booms (e.g., 2017, 2021). * Victims often *do not report attacks*, fearing revictimization or police inaction.
#### *Security Insights*
* Most victims had *used centralized exchanges* and undergone *KYC* processes, potentially exposing their identity and holdings. * Wrench attacks *bypass digital security*—no software or hardware defense can prevent coercion under threat. * Victim behaviors (e.g., displaying crypto apps in public, sharing wealth) can unintentionally increase risk.
#### *Recommendations*
* *For Users:*
* Keep a **low profile** about crypto holdings.
* Use **multi-signature wallets**, **distributed fund storage**, and **plausible deniability mechanisms**.
* Exercise caution during **P2P transactions** and avoid carrying large amounts of crypto assets.
* **Reevaluate KYC policies**—data leaks can serve as “shopping lists” for attackers.
* Implement **transaction delays** or **alerts** for large withdrawals to thwart coercion.
* Improve **wallet UI/UX** to prevent exposing sensitive information (e.g., display balance).
* Introduces the first *formal legal definition* of wrench attacks. * Identifies *seven forms* of wrench attacks. * Provides *actionable policy and design recommendations* for reducing risk.
---
This research highlights the *growing intersection of physical crime and digital assets*, calling for urgent changes in user behavior, system design, and policy to mitigate this underreported but increasingly relevant threat.
imaginator•4h ago
Side joke: with inflation the XKCD $5 wrench attack (https://xkcd.com/538/) is no longer possible.
qoez•4h ago
apples_oranges•4h ago
cluckindan•1h ago
grues-dinner•4h ago
krisoft•4h ago
lazide•4h ago
Seriously though, most B&E’s will use tools stolen from some prior victim. Why spend money you don’t need to, or something.
dylan604•3h ago
grues-dinner•1h ago
nssnsjsjsjs•4h ago
oulipo•3h ago
os2warpman•3h ago
$7.99
They also have an 8-inch wrench on sale for $3 but I'd spend the extra for the pipe wrench.
Better whackin' with an 18-incher.