After my first year of college, I came to Japan to seek what they all seemed to have: a calling. I imagined the trip would open something up. But now, a week in—after covering most of Kyoto—I feel off. Tourist sites are interesting, but they haven’t helped me make sense of what I’m looking for. Something felt wrong the moment I walked into Ginkakuji.

I’m wondering if the issue is:

I'm facing an existential crisis and need to explore, or

I need to stop seeking and start building—because work precedes calling.

While I’m here (until June 10), I want to lean into exploration. I’ve found some experiences more powerful than others—temples like Ryoanji, palm reading by chance, some garden moments. Others feel empty, even when they're supposed to be profound.

I’m curious: has anyone else chased purpose or calling this way?

For those who have been to Japan: what have you found that was meaningful?