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Ask HN: What if I fail to make it?

6•nextweeks•2h ago
I'm a 25 year old male and I think I might be experiencing a quarter life crisis. I feel like I'm behind in my life.

What if I don't make it? What if I die a failure? How do I deal with this thought?

Comments

techpineapple•2h ago
Elon Musk may die considering himself a failure. There's a lot of things you can do, therapy, change jobs, travel Europe, buy a sports car, and for sure a few of those things you should do, but they'll all lead to the same conclusion: You're not behind, you're right where you are supposed to be.
ungreased0675•2h ago
I’m happy to share my thoughts here, but I think it’d be more effective if you had a trusted friend or advisor to talk to in person.
idontwantthis•2h ago
What do you actually want to be doing and what is stopping you from doing them?
yasserf•2h ago
I would recommend looking into being able to recognise ‘thought viruses’

A book that really helped me was ‘Stop overthinking’ by Nick Trenton. I still have those thoughts, Anxiety isn’t the easiest thing to get rid of.

Find what it is that you enjoy, build habits (tiny habits / atomic habits are great references) and you might find that just moving a tiny bit in the direction that makes you happy might compound over time.

Success isn’t always about careers or large paydays. Your health, relationships, hobbies, identity and sanity play a big part of that as well.

I have friends who moved to other countries and restarted their lives at the age of 35/40, and I met people in their 70s who done the same.

Good luck!

toomuchtodo•2h ago
Comparison is the thief of joy. Compare yourself only to who you were yesterday. Set your goals, work towards them, and update your goals and actions accordingly. We win or we learn, and we try to win more than we learn over time. There are unhappy billionaires who will never feel like they’ve won, and people in abject poverty who are happy with what they have. Happiness is reality minus expectations.
didgetmaster•1h ago
Anyone can feel like a failure if they have lofty goals. The #5 golfer in the world can feel like they failed if they never won a major. The NBA MVP can feel like a failure if they never got a championship ring. An EVP of the biggest company in the world can feel like a failure if they were never a CEO.

There are plenty of people in the richest 1% who feel like they failed even though the other 99% might want to trade places with them.

Set realistic goals and work towards them. Don't base your success or failure on meeting every one of them 100% before you turn 30.

bix6•1h ago
You have a therapist yet? Highly recommend.
jethronethro•1h ago
Maybe you should ask why you feel behind in your life. Behind what or whom?
turtleyacht•11m ago
You'll make it.

When Disney Went Digital

https://animationobsessive.substack.com/p/when-disney-went-digital
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https://phys.org/news/2025-08-broken-japan.html
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TUI Implementation for Avalonia UI

https://github.com/jinek/Consolonia
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Netanyahu Has Decided on Full Occupation of Gaza Strip: Reports

https://www.newsweek.com/israel-fully-occupy-gaza-strip-netanyahu-office-2108730
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NASA's Lunar Trailblazer mission ends in disappointment

https://www.engadget.com/science/space/nasas-lunar-trailblazer-mission-ends-in-disappointment-201318932.html
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Australia picks Japan over Germany to build $10B frigates

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-08-05/australia-japan-navy-frigates/105613688
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Pornography is turning sex into an extreme sport

https://www.thetimes.com/comment/columnists/article/pornography-sex-extreme-sport-bonnie-blue-gnb60xlsf
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3D Line Drawings

https://amritkwatra.com/experiments/3d-line-drawings
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AI Flight Pricing Can Push Travelers to the Limit of Their Ability to Pay

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2025-08-04/how-ai-can-raise-airline-ticket-prices
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Over engineering my homelab so I don't pay cloud providers

https://ergaster.org/posts/2025/08/04-overegineering-homelab/
2•JNRowe•13m ago•0 comments

I Mailed the FBI a Hate Crime Cease and Desist Letter

https://onedrive.live.com/?cid=5e559d34c4a7e2c3&id=5E559D34C4A7E2C3!s9eb2073269b04876997686e4a670159e&resid=5E559D34C4A7E2C3!s9eb2073269b04876997686e4a670159e&ithint=file%2cpdf&e=THgosz&migratedtospo=true&redeem=aHR0cHM6Ly8xZHJ2Lm1zL2IvYy81ZTU1OWQzNGM0YTdlMmMzL0VUSUhzcDZ3YVhaSW1YYUc1S1p3Rlo0QkY3cTIxNE96YWlZd0h4VGROWnBnbmc_ZT1USGdvc3o
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EconTeen – Financial Literacy Lessons and Tools for Teens

https://econteen.com/
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https://popshort.ai/
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Revisiting Clause Vivification [pdf]

https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~mheule/publications/PoS25-viv.pdf
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https://news.mit.edu/2025/mit-meschers-tool-visualizes-edits-physically-impossible-objects-0804
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Russian volcano erupts for first time in more than 500 years

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0r7qlwg4zro
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https://www.theregister.com/2025/07/31/aws_lambda_cost_nightmare/
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OCHA situation report on Gaza, July 30

https://www.ochaopt.org/content/reported-impact-snapshot-gaza-strip-30-july-2025
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Long dormant Russian volcano erupts, spews ash 4 miles high

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Falcon-H1: A Family of Hybrid-Head Models Redefining Efficiency and Performance

https://arxiv.org/abs/2507.22448
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London Stock Exchange considers 24-hour trading to stimulate market

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2025/jul/21/london-stock-exchange-24-hour-trading-boost-market
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Trello: How the project management app's update is causing customers to revolt

https://slate.com/technology/2025/08/trello-app-update-big-tech-ai-google-microsoft-apple.html
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Developers, Reinvented

https://ashtom.github.io/developers-reinvented
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https://lobste.rs/s/i81fly/how_perplexity_is_evading_anti_crawling
1•SupremumLimit•27m ago•1 comments

My current guess at AI automation effect on jobs

https://sortega.substack.com/p/my-current-guess-at-ai-automation
2•kreig•28m ago•0 comments

Nothing to see here (it was Cloudflare crawler hints)

https://simonwillison.net/2025/Aug/4/chatgpt-agents-agent/
3•simonw•29m ago•1 comments

Vim: You probably don't want to use Netrw

https://kitsugo.com/blog/netrw-experience/
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Pre-Training Large Memory Language Models with Internal and External Knowledge

https://arxiv.org/abs/2505.15962
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CVE-2025-50753 – Mitrastar GPT-2741 GNAC-N2 root privilege escalation

https://amatriz.net/posts/cve-2025-50753-mitrastar-gpt-2741-gnac-n2-root-privilege-escalation/
1•geraldog•33m ago•0 comments

How a 25-year-old dev made 600 apps without being able to code (2015)

https://www.cultofmac.com/news/25-year-dev-made-600-apps-without-able-code
2•surround•35m ago•0 comments