I lived in the South Bay and East Bay a total of 30 years (wow)

I had jobs in Sunnyvale and Palo Alto and when I got a Berkeley job, moved to the east bay. During my stay there, I had jobs in Berkeley, San Francisco, and Pleasanton (Sun had a nice office there).

I later joined a startup whose CEO kept moving the office every time he moved his home. Count that as a mistake.

But from the east bay, I BART'ed to both Berkeley and San Francisco, which beat the daylights out of commuting by auto.

Having a family, SF was never an option. Now that I'm retired, I might just wait for the "AI-Pocalypse" and move to SF. (yeah, beware of that. Those billions have not produced revenue, and who knows if they ever will?)

Just move to SF and try it out. If it turns out it isn’t for you you can just move out again.

Work closer to home is my advice. I spent way too much time doing long commutes and the lack of time to exercise and also eat right gets you later. South Bay is way more affordable, and more stable companies. Its easier to visit SF on your own schedule. Also, South Bay has lots of other places to visit, drop over the hill to Santa Cruz, Monterey, as well as Napa and San Francisco. If the is an AI-Pocalypse, SF will be hit hard.

I prefer living in the South Bay, but almost all my friends prefer living in SF. I tried living in SF for one year and came running back to Palo Alto. I’d say, just try it.

AI is a bubble. Don't count on it for anything.

Let's assume you work 8 hrs/day, sleep 8 hrs/day, and do everything else in the remaining 8 hrs/day. So work is half your waking hours. Decide which is more important to you: the 8 hrs of work or the 8 hrs of everything else, and choose your location accordingly.

You're never going to be with fewer obligations and responsibilities than in your 20's, so now is the best time to experiment. When I was in my 20's, my job and location changed every 2 to 3 years, so anything I decided didn't turn out to be permanent anyway.

Don't overthink it, and do what makes you happy.