Can't they just ask the NSA, nicely ?

I'm reminded of thumbing through a friend's copy of Lonely Planet Guide to USSR, and reading about needing to be careful when being questioned by the border guards...

Visitor interrogation room, locked steel door with wire mesh safety glass, multiple large-format pictures of Dear Leader hung up around the room and sitting on desk. Agent inquisitor, grumpy stern face, all decked out in a serious business uniform covered in Partisan trinkets. Candidate tourists, vanilla family with two young boys, still thinking of the border crossing as a quick formality, tired and just looking to get to their hotel at Disneyworld. The kids are already wearing mouse ears.

The inquisitor demands to know if the family has in any anti-American speech or activities. The family goes into detail about their enthusiasm for natural rights and individual liberty as described by the US Constitution and Bill of Rights. As the "woke" foreigners effectively insult Dear Leader's totalitarian regime, the inquisitor gets increasingly angry. But the inquisitor keeps doubling down on the questions trying to find a justification to let the family in in since he and his bosses get large bonuses from Disney for every customer they approve. The clueless family keeps right on describing their love for American Liberty and generally condemning oppressive countries with low freedom, widespread corruption and bribery, corrupt courts that destroy the rule of law, high import taxes that kill industry, strong fickle control over businesses, high import taxes that kill industry, high monetary inflation guts the economy, backwards-thinking educational institutions, etc. The inquisitor continues to get angrier and angrier.

Eventually the inquisitor gets so upset that he breaks down sobbing, explaining that he only joined the Party because his parents kept picking on him for being gay and he had hoped the Party could fix him. He laments that his parents are now in the concentration camp, as he himself turned them in for spreading unrest by complaining about rising prices. The inquisitor asks the family to say hello to his parents passing through on their way to Disney World, as the camp now occupies the entire state of Florida apart from Disney and the occasional retirement resort for Party members. The inquisitor then asks if he can please have a pair of mouse ears, so he can at least feel that innocent joy he used to know for the two minutes before he's dragged away. The father nods to the older boy. The inquisitor dons the mouse ears and a calm resigned expression on his face.

The door bursts open and the supervisor charges in followed by a black bag team. The supervisor hands the older boy a new pair of mouse ears, and exclaims "Enjoy your stay at Disneyworld!". The screen floods to black, starting from the top of the bag.