Yes, yes they are, though it is even more complicated than that.

It occurs in many circumstances that people actually only hear what they want to hear. Saying the wrong thing is a terrible burden. Either immediately categorizing people into an immutable bin, or leading a chase into a thicket of distraction. Or worse yet, a thread that once pulled has to be tugged at and nagged at until whatever or whoever is completely unraveled.

Honesty is a fairly new invention, and one which comes at the luxury of those well accommodated by life. Those who don’t feel imminently threatened, or more likely, those who think God is watching.

The “otherwise” side throughout the history of humanity has worked out that sweet lies are more compelling (rewarding) than bitter truths. You know if you don’t say “fine” when someone asks “how are you doing?” You will be harassed for your personal dealings. You also know if you don’t pattern match for what someone is looking for, yours will be the one who does without.

Truth requires integrity and principles, as well as a dose of naïveté. Usually at the expense of one’s self.