I never was a dating app kind of human, but it helped me to get out there and even find my last partner.
First I assumed it's me, I am old now. But I slowly realized it's more than that, other people are old now too and yet it feels so distanced. It feels so different. It feels dishonest and fake.
But is it really much better in reality? Aren't we getting more and more distanced either way?
Yes, and yes. We are getting more distanced, but clearly the online/digital interactions are amplifying this in an extreme way. Like the idea itself that we are both talking to a bundle of plastics, metals and electronics and everything we say is mediated by this THING between us, that's as distancing as it gets. But it still is possible to just talk to people "out there" in the real world, but since it's less common and happens less often than it used to, I think we kinda lose this as a skill because we are out of practice, and its not just us but also "them". So I think the real-life interactions nowadays need some more engineering to set up the conditions for them, but at the same time people are desperate for them and craving them
I would say that dating apps take out the awkwardness of approaching someone in real life who isn't mutually interested. It can be socially devastating to ask out someone who you thought was showing interest but was not.
Social media can easily make someone look like a creep just to ask someone out. Before social media the awkward encounters would have largely been forgotten.
Finally, before dating apps, many people met their partner at the workplace. There are huge consequences (getting fired) for asking out someone who isn't interested, or if it doesn't work out. And we are much more aware of professional boundaries.
wodenokoto•26m ago