>Certain issues of The Onion newspaper are mysteriously missing from our 270-year archive, and you might be able to help us recover them.

just use AI bro, here's unedited slop:

Four matches from 2009 on eBay ($14.99 each)

- Vol. 45, Issue 11 (March 12, 2009): https://www.ebay.com/itm/278119040620 - Vol. 45, Issue 13 (March 26, 2009): https://www.ebay.com/itm/278119044293 - Vol. 45, Issue 14 (April 2, 2009): https://www.ebay.com/itm/278119047005 - Vol. 45, Issue 19 (May 7, 2009): https://www.ebay.com/itm/278119065193

All four are offered by the same seller, 2012glorysmom

A 2013 issue is also available:

Vol. 49, Issue 50, dated December 12, 2013 — the final original print edition. Listed on eBay for $8, with multiple copies available

https://www.ebay.com/itm/193167954442

Rare-book dealer Type Punch Matrix is offering a collection of early Onion newspapers.

The dealer lists Vol. 18 issues 2–6 and 8–25, and Vol. 19 issues 1–5, 7–9, 12, and 14–17, with an additional issue numbered 4.

Asking price: $3,000.

https://www.abebooks.com/first-edition/ONION-Dikkers-Scott-M...

if u tell them ur the onion maybe they'll give you for free

Did somebody steal these magazines or are they just being overly dramatic?