https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21544149

"Von Neumann would carry on a conversation with my 3-year-old son, and the two of them would talk as equals, and I sometimes wondered if he used the same principle when he talked to the rest of us." - Edward Teller

I watched a documentary from the 80ies a long time ago. A mathematician (can't remember his name) who worked with von Neumann in Los Alamanos was interviewed. He described von Neumann's last weeks in the hospital - the cancer had already metastasized into his brain. The mathematician said something along this lines (I am citing from memory): "von Neumann was constantly visited by colleagues, who wanted to discuss their latest work with him. He tried to keep up, struggling, like in old times. But he couldn't. Try to imagine having one of the greatest minds maybe in the history of mankind. And then try to imagine losing this gift. I was terrible. I have never seen a man experience greater suffering."

Marina von Neumann (his daughter) later wrote this about his final weeks:

"After only a few minutes, my father made what seemed to be a very peculiar and frightening request from a man who was widely regarded as one of the greatest - if not the greatest - mathematician of the 20th century. He wanted me to give him two numbers, like 7 and 6 or 10 and 3, and ask him to tell me their sum. For as long as I can remember, I had always known that my father's major source of self-regard, what he felt to be the very essence of his being, was his incredible mental capacity. In this late stage of his illness, he must have been aware that this capacity was deteriorating rapidly, and the panic that caused was worse than any physical pain. In demanding that I test him on these elementary sums, he was seeking reassurance that at least a small fragment of this intellectual powers remained."

After a while they halved the prescription and after a few hours I could feel my words returning. It was terrifying to feel my IQ rise substantially. Before I left eh hospital they gave me various cognitive and mental tests and it was reassuring to be told that I was in the 96 percentile of my peer group (college educated, engineers)

We deal with a parent with dementia and another with a stroke. The difficult part with all of these are not really seeing the decline from the inside, sometimes there are the acknowledgment of hints of decline but mostly you don't want to think about it and compensate as best as you can.

I got on antidepressants and that helped, though it came with it's own set of problems. I started seeing counselors, reading self-help books, I went through 6 months of cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBTi), working with a neurologist to get migraines under control, seeking help wherever I could. It has been a slow process but I'm doing a lot better. I'm still nowhere near where I was cognitively. In fact I don't know that has improved much at all. And it's only been in the past year that I've began to understand my decline as a result of jumping into marriage, fatherhood, and home ownership without the necessary skills to handle them. I'm hopeful things will continue to improve, I've learned an enormous amount about life, fatherhood, marriage, love, forgiveness, hope, and priorities.

If you are a young parent, or considering being a parent soon, work on yourself. Ensure you have the skills you need or your life (and the lives of those near to you) will become a bag of utter despair filled with shit.

The characteristic brain fog seems to be tied to dysautonomia and excess IL-1B pro-inflammatory cytokines. I treat the latter with a strict no sugar diet, and high doses of D3, TUDCA, and DIM. I treat the dysautonomia with LDN, modafinil, amitryptiline, and a low dose of semaglutide (ozempic).

I usually skip this portion of the cocktail unless things are particularly bad. The disorder is progressive, so when it comes for my brain, well, that's when things are over. I do not have much going on for me in terms of personal value except for, well, solving problems.

A very close friend of mine has had two hospitalizations for gangrene, and the second one absolutely devastated his cognitive abilities. He has leveled off at about eighty-five percent of where he was before. If he is tired or feeling unwell, verbal perseveration begins.

My mother is fairly well-on in her years. She used to have a tremendous vocabulary, despite her very limited education. Now, she has begun to lose words and I end up "translating" for her because I know what she is getting at. She could do crosswords but refuses to, even the Monday selections, which are typically the easiest. Very recently, she has begun misplacing things. I had my suspicions, and during a routine head, neck, and brain imaging for something else, I checked out the results and, sure enough, some loss of volume in the right hippocampus.

I experienced a period of severe cognitive deficit while recovering from a medical episode. We didn't know whether it would be permanent or not. I also discovered - as a fellow my-IQ-is-my-identity person - that it didn't matter anywhere near as much as I'd have expected it would. I was still able to experience love, and joy, and humour. Some things sucked, and were frustrating, like not being able to retain enough information to read a moderately-complex piece of prose, but the point is that I still felt like myself, even at a very low cognitive level. I'm immensely comforted. I expect I'll experience that again, as I (hopefully!) age, but it holds no particular terror anymore.